By Student Emily Nelson
After what seemed like a long, dormant winter of going deep within and facing the darker aspects of myself, the long-awaited promise of light shone through. This year I was given the gift, the miracle, of feeling what I call my God heart.
Feeling and being my true self, my God heart, was like being able to breathe after holding my breath for so long. I came alive. Every part of my being came alive in the opening of my God heart.
Irish mystic and author, Lorna Byrne, writes about her experience in Heaven of God showing her a soul being born:
As God raised His hand light flowed from His fingers…I watched His left hand go towards his chest. His chest area opened up. It almost blinded me. I found it hard to see and then I saw His heart. It moved forward. It was radiant, deep red. Coming from His heart was light, shooting forward in every direction. God reached into His heart with the tips of His fingers and took the tiniest piece of His heart and put it into the palm of His left hand…and he breathed upon it. It came to life and started to grow into a child, a child of God, and He held this soul, this tiny baby.
Feeling this spark of God light within my heart was a miracle for me in many ways.
Through a series of childhood events, I unconsciously decided to disconnect from my God heart because it felt too painful and unsafe in this world. But in the process of doing so, I disconnected from myself completely. Moving through life after I was there, but not really. This created many physical and spiritual challenges. Now I see this happened because the heart is the root of the whole self.
So when I began to let my God heart open again, all the physical pain in my body dissolved and I realized this is the space of miracles. Miracles are not limited to the exterior, but they are also within us. We are created from the spark of light that is God’s heart. This spark, this miracle, is within each one of us. This is who we are. Our innate state is a state of love. When we open our God hearts we open to miracles. We are a part of God and, in essence, we all are God. In feeling my God heart, everything that happens within and all around me feels like a miracle. From the bird landing in my hand to the flower teaching me joy.
Feeling out this new space was akin to learning to ride a bike, or my favorite, roller skating. A bit wobbly, learning how to find my balance and how I need to hold myself. I have days where I disconnect from my God heart, but I know it’s still there. Each time this happens, I am shown why I disconnected and the block to it. Some of these blocks take a while to move through until I feel connected to my God heart again, but when the connection does happen, it goes even deeper and more expansive than before. The process of disconnecting and connecting again has shown me God’s faithfulness, God’s love for me. My trust grows stronger in God each time as I’m reconnected again because it is God’s deliverance of his promise that He never leaves and deeply cares and loves me. During these times, I find faith the most important part of the process of reconnecting again. As much as I feel drawn to want to focus on what went wrong, I choose not to and it feels weird, like going against the grain. Nothing makes sense about it. But I focus on the light and I am in continual prayer of thanking God for helping me reconnect again. It surprises me because every time I feel like I’m going to be stuck like that forever (my dramatic self) and there’s no way God can get me out of this hole, but every time God meets me. In His timing though.
God always offers help and guidance for the reconnection to happen. A big part of this has been the help of Mother Earth, to help me feel safe in my body and this world. Everyday on my walks, I find a place to rest and I take off my shoes and connect to the Earth with my bare feet. I feel the aliveness of the Earth and the healing energies from her. I find the earth energies are intuitive and know where to go in the body. Often I feel the energy start in my feet and travel up directly to my heart, filling me with God’s peace and love. This helps connect me to my God heart every time.
With God revealing my God heart to me this year, I am able to see that spark of light in everyone. Even when I am struggling with a more challenging person, God reminds me that he specifically chose and brought forth that specific spark of light in His heart to create this soul, and that it is a part of Him. I still sometimes feel the negative emotions, but it is like feeling upset with a sibling. Even though I might be feeling a certain way, I still love them because they are my brother, my sister. This helps dissolve the story, the judgment I am making about someone and hold a space of more compassion.
Every time we bring forth the love inside of us to one another it is a miracle because we are bringing forth God Himself in that moment. We are in the presence of God in that moment, His living presence.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. – 1 John 4:7-8
May many miracles unfold for you,
Emily
