That being noted, after that day, I experienced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms; I couldn’t go to my favorite place in New York City – Central Park – without feeling like something was off. My trust felt eroded. My sense of stability was robbed. And the beautiful bench that my spouse and I loved to sit on, while taking in a tranquil pond, now seemed contaminated. Each time I approached this bench, my heart pounded, and the violation freshly crossed my mind. What was once a source of relaxation, required to alleviate the stress prevalent in NYC, had become a threatening scene. Oh, no!

I needed to grieve, yes….seek more justice, yes…and also find a solution. A turning point came when – after about ten other women also spoke up – the person who perpetrated was put behind bars. And while that reality was relieving, it did not, strangely, offer me the healing I craved. It was the beginning of a series of steps that would lead to greater wholeness.

Fortunately, I am one for synchronicities. So, when I ran into an old college friend at a local yoga studio, I took it as a sign. I only went there because my boss had handed my colleagues and me passes for a free yoga class. And, since I’d never tried that particular class, I was eligible for this complimentary opportunity. “What have I got to lose?” I whispered to myself. Well, not only did I see this friend, Shakti Assouline, but she also offered me yet another complimentary class! Whaaaat?

*That was the day when I realized that even though God doesn’t always stop “bad things” from happening, if we’re open to it, then God will put us back together again….and maybe sweeter than before.* She chuckled when she saw me, as though part of her – her higher self? – expected to meet me again. (Personally, I was in sublime surprise!) Shakti shared that she served as a Yoga Nidra instructor (at Pure Yoga Studio), and that I was welcomed to be a guest at her next class. WOW: Thank you, Divine Source of sacred steps to healing! Or, as the yogis and yoginis say, “WAH,” which basically means, “Wow and Praise” all at once.

Within a week’s time, I was in one of Shakti’s sacred classes. I’d never taken a Yoga Nidra class and didn’t know what it was; I assumed it would have more movement involved. Yet, this space wasn’t about bending my body into asanas (a Sanskrit word that roughly translates to “postures” in English); it wasn’t about subconsciously – and sometimes consciously – comparing myself to the other bodies near me. Nor was it about pushing my edge in any way, shape or form. It was centered on inward connection, rather than outward comparison. After a few classes, I was hooked. In this liminal space, I’d find myself – almost witness myself – moving into a reality where anything was possible. (It reminds me a little of a phenomenon called “Resting in the Spirit,” which I’ve experienced through Celebrating Life Ministries, the Interfaith Ministry through which I was ordained.) I could completely release, relax and rest.

And slowly yet steadily, my PTSD symptoms began to diminish. This is not to suggest that my recovery has not had twists and turns since then. It definitely has. Yet, it’s been a smoother path – and one that has more nurturing involved, than I had imagined possible. Within months, I received a scholarship to train with Shakti, and a handful of wonderful colleagues, at another yoga studio. It is called Stanton Street Yoga, in Manhattan’s East Village. And, as they say, the rest is history…or perhaps I should say: herstory! : )

The best attribute of my Yoga Nidra story is not actually my recovery process, though clearly that is a foundational element. My favorite part of it is what I’ve noticed in others, when I’ve shared the modality – the craft of cultivating awareness – with them. I have seen people who identified as insomniacs sleep for the first time in days. I have seen peoples’ bodies go from looking like cages to looking like butterflies in flight. I have seen peoples’ jaws go from clenched to open. I have seen people cry after class, daring to share how what they experienced helped to resolve traumatic incidents from their past. Once, I stayed after class for about forty minutes, as a grown man shared through tears what it did for him. (His therapist told him to attend my class, though this was a deeper experience than he expected!) To clarify, this is not “me” at work. Rather, this is the Divine Mother-Heavenly Father-Holy Parent moving through this modality, to enact healthy change. But I sure as heaven am honored to be a part of it.

I’m delighted to offer a Yoga Nidra sequence soon – on July the 11th! So look forward to sharing sacred space with you all then, during our monthly CLM call. I will co-facilitate with the talented Dr. Liza Fox. Bring your worries; bring your burdens; bring your memories; bring your anxieties…and then let them go, one by one, as we enter a realm of energetic expansion. Perhaps your participation is the next sacred step for you! Certainly, this is not the only legitimate way to heal PTSD, though it is one modality that is worth exploring. *No previous yoga or yoga meditation experience is necessary, though it is welcomed; and all bodies and body types are welcomed.* Come as you are!