At the beginning of April 2022 my daughter Stella and I began our pilgrimage. Our first stop was to Sainte Baume. When we arrived, I asked some locals for help in finding our way to the church/cave on the mountain. They told us that there were two paths that would bring us to the cave. One was a fairly easy walk and the other more challenging but much more beautiful. We chose the second option and began to weave our way through this ancient forest and up the mountain. When we reached the fork in the road we found that the direction we were meant to take was closed with yellow tape. I could feel my will engaging as I began to figure out our plan B. We decided to follow another trail up to the top of the mountain. As we summited the expansive views were breathtaking. There were just a few other pilgrims at the top taking in the vista. I was determined to find the church. I had come all this way; I had to make it work. As we traversed across the top of the mountain we kept ourselves on the trail by looking out for painted rocks that served as trail markers. The further we walked we noticed that there didn’t seem to be any other people around. We had been walking a little over an hour and Stella began to get nervous and thought that we should turn back. All that I could think was that I didn’t come all this way to miss the cave.

I told her that we would walk for 30 more minutes and if we didn’t find the church we could turn back. Just before the 30 minutes lapsed we saw a group of people climbing up the face of the mountain. I asked them if we were close to the church and they said that the church was closed. I was incredibly disappointed but trying hard to find faith that it would all work out. Just before descending the mountain we sat at a tiny chapel and prayed. The energy was amazing and so powerful. It brought ease to my disappointment and we felt Mary’s presence very strongly. After making our way down the mountain we went to visit the Basilica of Mary Magdalene located in a nearby town. It was there that we learned that the church on the mountain would be open again the day before we flew back home.

So, on the last full day before we left France, we got up at the crack of dawn to drive 6 hours from Lourdes to Sainte Baume. This time we took the easier route up and found ourselves at the church in the mountain. Such an incredibly majestic experience. Both Stella and I found our own place in the cave and took in Mary’s presence. There were very few words exchanged between us as we moved through the space breathing in all of the power and grace.

This experience has been imprinted in us and has changed our lives forever.

Several months later I found myself at a CLM retreat and was chatting with Christy Levannier about our experience at Sainte Baume. She told me that the spot on top of the mountain is where the angels would bring Mary to pray every day. I know that if on that first day that the trail would have been open, and we were able to experience the church/cave, we would never have climbed to the top and experienced that sacred spot where Mary prayed.