In my youth I had the tendency to become emotional. I would watch Little House on The Prairie with my young daughters and low and behold they would catch me with tears running down my cheeks. As I matured though I became hardened and more cynical with fewer glimpses into the wonders of life and focused on the grind of making a living, playing sports with friends, and gathering material things. Sure, over the years occasionally, a loss of a friend or loved one would pull at my heartstrings but overall, I lost that emotional spark that was born of the new. Hopes and Dreams withered with failed marriages and lost loves and diagnoses that led me to turn my back on God. I became more concerned about survival of self and less interested in the world around me. I devoted more time to friends than family and pretty much lost my way.
One critical turning point Opened my Heart like the Flood Gates. I refer to this as my awakening which parallel’s the teachings of Ron Roth in “Prayer and the Five Stages of Healing”, much recommended reading. It was in 2019 that I had a healing at a Celebrating Life Ministries healing service. The afternoon started with music that put me in the mood to receive, what, I didn’t know? A trio of leaders approached me as it was my turn and there were three Angels standing around me with their hands on my heart. The trio told me it was OK to help myself and to love myself and whatever else was said was so emotional that I was almost convulsing from crying so hard with tears of love and joy rolling down my face. It felt like Open-Heart surgery.
Since that time, I’ve sought out more. I want to feel that same emotion that I felt, the Holy Spirit entering my life for perhaps the first time on a conscious level. That one event brought me back to God and a feeling of Love eternal. There are so many things now that happen that bring me to tears it’s unbelievable. A song that came on randomly on a work trip was “If Not Now, When?” by Incubus, that brought me to tears while driving late at night. It reminded me of that healing service and my opening to the light. Just recently I complimented a fellow student in the Educational Program via email for her amazing offering to our community on a Zoom call. She left me a voice message that I listened to while standing near the pharmacy in a Walmart and her professing her appreciation for my act of kindness brought me to tears. We texted back and forth, and she pointed out that our hearts are both open to give and to receive as she cried when reading my email.
I would say that is a testimony to the miraculous transformation for me in my life. There are still times of course when I’ll slip and hurt someone’s feelings, but the difference is I realize it immediately now and try to correct it. That’s the challenge, to project only Love into the world, keep an open Heart, and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.
I was on a Forty Day challenge for lent on the Hallow app. On Palm Sunday or the Monday after I heard the Gospel according to John describing when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.
When Jesus brought his friend Lazarus back to life, they say Jesus wept. Now Jesus knew he would perform this miracle so why would he weep. Because Jesus is Love.
So, as we move through this life, we must continue to grow in Love for ourselves and others, opening our Hearts, Minds, and Souls to the more to bring us closer to the Divine!
I am glad now to be vulnerable emotionally. When I’m crying on the outside my heart is full. It doesn’t take much these days and I’m perfectly fine with that. I pray that you all may have an open heart!
