By Bishop Robert Bearden
What is creativity? How do we access it? My spiritual father Ron Roth once said, “you are most like God when you create.” He would give this same teaching, by changing the words around, but the basic message was that we are creatively connected to God. What I gleaned from this teaching was that when I follow this principle, I am aligned with God. Being a naturally creative person, I felt a bit confused as my energy often felt scattered. I needed to look inside myself beyond the world of ideas, drawing, painting, singing, poetry, photography, or by using cleverness, and go to another level. Through Ron’s influence, I started looking at my life for trends, themes, energy flows, and by examining my experiences. What I noticed is that I am most like God when I do not resist change, go with the flow, embrace the unknown, and trust in the process that God has called me to. Now this was true creativity for me, as God had a way of molding me for more. Saying YES to God gives me a better life and a stronger feeling of connection within myself, with others, and ultimately with The Divine itself.
Sri Bhagavan says, “everything is a process” so, by this definition, God is a process. Seeing the process of my life has helped me to fine-tune my God connection. It’s not that the basic qualities that I had used to experience myself were in question, no, it’s how I was using them that needed discernment. I had learned to survive, and in doing so, the way I used my creative qualities got me through life, sometimes got me distracted from the challenges of my life, but deep down inside, I realized that I wanted more GOD with less fear and chaos. All of my teachers and healers helped in different ways to show me how to use my energy more efficiently. I have been blessed by extraordinary teachers, mystics, and healers. They have worked with me to cultivate a solid ground of faith and creative expression. It is exciting to share some of these experiences, insights, and awarenesses, as sharing testimony brings greater awareness to the magnificence of our lives.
One of my first God created moments was at 13 years old and is based on the example of Saint Francis. After seeing the movie Brother Sun Sister Moon, I was stirred up. When I returned home from the theater, I went into my room and I followed the example of St. Francis and stripped myself of everything. I then opened my arms and gave myself to God. As I was laying prostrate on the ground, on my bedroom floor, God was with me, and I was safe.
Fast forward about twelve years as I started my spiritual journey in earnest, the passion was there, but so were the hidden troubles. I needed healing. I sought help, received spiritual support and guidance, and dedicated my life to going deeper. In due time I was invited to be a Monk within CLM, would often pilgrimage in India and Brazil, and grounded my life in God one step at a time. When I began attending courses at Oneness University (now GAM) in India, at one of our sessions, we watched the movie Brother Sun Sister Moon. Seeing that film again, in that amplified field, brought a powerful integration into my cells. Literally, all God moments I had experienced up to this point, all of the years of study with HLCC with Ken Weintrub and Rosalyn Bruyere, CLM with Ron Roth and Padre Paul, AOC with Dr. Steven Weiss, The Entities at Casa de Dom Ignacio in Brazil, Carolyn Myss and Norm Shealy, and through all of my early years of Buddhist study; it all culminated and I knew that I was finally finding my way home with God at my center. I felt safe and protected in my deepening relationship with The Presence, and saw that God had created all of these prior moments of banishment to bliss for me to grow more into myself with God as the prime point.
Literally, all of the years of early trauma from the domestic chaos caused by the exposure to drugs, alcohol, and way out-of-control emotions by the adults around me, had shaped my childhood and early teen years. All of this negativity began draining from me during this time of spiritual awakening. God rebooted me and was recreating me a new now moment. Since then everything has started getting better and better.
I have discovered that all roads lead home to God, and if we are patient, faithful, forgiving, and open for transformation to occur, a great creative reanimating will follow. God is my full-time companion, witness, and confessor. As the song below says, “It’s so hard living without you”. Thank you CLM for always being my constant and showing me how to connect with more God, as well as creatively experiencing my God connection with authenticity and full illumination.