Padre Paul asked me and Francois to share about a subject very meaningful to me: Desires vs Divine Purpose. This event will be on February 22nd, 2023, online. (Find more information here.)

Looking back at my life I recognize that all suffering was a struggle with strategies and desires: wanting things to be different than they are. Desiring things, situations, success, relationships for one reason: To feel better. Constantly searching for something I thought was lacking. What does every human being on this planet really want? To feel pleasant within and without! That is the simple answer we find when we ask ourselves: Why do I want this? And there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good, because it is our true nature to be joyful, to celebrate and rejoice in life’s infinite variety, this dance of creation.

However to “get” what we think will make us happy we use a conditioned, programmed mind that was taught all the opposites of true love and wholeness: mistrust, suffering, desiring, striving, fear, limitation, fighting with life. A sense of self, a sense of I-dentity developed and we started to give that programmed mind a job it cannot do: to make us fulfilled, happy and complete. I found out (and maybe you have too) that this approach creates an endless and dissatisfying search. You never get “there”. Otherwise, why could people that have all the fame, wealth, success, and everything else they ever desired be so unhappy and even terminate their own lives?

By wearing myself out and by amazing Grace I now experience life from a very different vantage point: RELAXATION, TRUST, and getting out of the way. The mind gave up this struggle to “get” happy. I am already what I was searching for. I find each moment rich with Divine Essence, even the painful ones. I no longer make up stories or meanings about the ups and downs of life. This being, called Angelika allowed the heart to break open, to face the scary things in the inner darkness, and eventually gave up trying to make herself happy.

In that dis-mantling process of “the seeking for happiness self” a new life emerged: JUST HERE, allowing Divine Purpose to make this life story beautiful and fulfilled. And even on the material level, everything that is in alignment with Divine purpose is given with ease. It is more satisfying, fulfilling and joyful than anything the “little I” could have dreamed up or wished for. There is joy and gratitude even when things change and in times of seeming loss. This new way of being alive is the biggest miracle of all. It is the inner transformation that I really longed for in all my wanderings, longings, and desires. And now I am simply HERE and HERE again. Specific outcomes, the past, the future are no longer interesting to me, only THIS PRESENCE is.

Blessings to you dear friend, reading this, and may you allow your conditioned mind’s desires to be dismantled also, so that something much greater and wiser can live you.