By Student Mina Litvak
“Dear Children, I, the mother of all of you gathered here, and the mother of the entire world, am blessing you with a motherly blessing and call you to set out on the way of humility.” (July 2, 2014)
What was the big miracle I received? Kindness and humility.
From the beginning, I noticed the kindness and humility that permeated the people in Medjugorje. Again and again it was emphasized. From a man giving up his place in line to touch the weeping Jesus to the person behind him, to a man giving his prayer cushion to a tired pilgrim, to a woman helping the stranger sitting in the pew in front of her to put on her coat, to people bowing fully on one knee every time they entered the church grounds. At other times I felt Our Lady with me and kindly watching out for me, like when I asked for help getting back to the hotel and to direct my steps so as to not fall when climbing Apparition Hill. Also, within our own group of pilgrims there were many kindnesses shared as well. People in our group encouraged and helped each other make it up rocky, slippery mountains, held each other’s backpacks and heavy bags, shared travel essentials, and supported each other to feel loved and included. No one was worried about having enough for themselves, claiming their territory, having to wait in line, or any other frustrating ‘inconvenience’ I felt back home.
At the same time, in truth, I could see myself in the Italian pilgrims and Our Lady showed me this in a way that I could admit to myself. On the plane home I realized there were moments on the trip of fear-based self-preservation, pride, and arrogance. For example, on the plane, I was upset I didn’t get a row to myself. I didn’t give up my seat in mass, and internally complained about the hard seats and getting on my knees on hard wood. In another instance, I felt angry and became judgmental and critical of the Church and priest when they announced that only baptized Catholics could take communion. Again, another example was I contemplated starting a program to feed the stray dogs and cats, and while this was coming from a genuine place, I later noticed underneath there were a few areas of arrogance. Firstly, the dogs and cats did not look malnourished or emaciated, but I still assumed I knew better about how to care for them than what was already being done. I thus didn’t trust that Grace was taking care of them and assumed that I could do it better. Secondly, a covert part of me wanted recognition for giving help. In another example, I was very hungry after an early morning of climbing Cross Mountain and a friend asked if I would be willing to share my food. I said yes, but I could feel my fear of not having enough and worry that I would not get enough protein lurking behind. Later it turned out there were two other courses and I had more than I could eat. But where was my faith and knowing that I and all of life was supported, loved, valued, and held by All That Is?
I realized how much my frame of mind had been about protecting myself, getting what I need, feeling special, being liked, and just generally focusing on myself and obtaining my physical and psychological comfort. I felt the contraction of these fears in my mind and body. Yet I saw how this frame of mind of fear-based self-preservation and self-promotion is often considered understandable, natural, and even healthy in most Western societies. However, now I realized the subtleties of pride and arrogance behind this frame of mind within me. I could see how they were based in fear and the lack of knowingness in the absolute well-being of existence. Though I considered myself and most people generally kind and good human beings, as only a loving mother can point out, the truth about me looked different than I had been willing to admit.
In a story from the book of visionary Vicka’s testimony, she was given the mission to pray for those who are ill. The Holy Mother asked her if she would be willing to take on suffering as a service “to join the crosses in our lives to the Cross of Jesus her Son, with great love and great joy.” Vicka joyfully accepted with the attitude that she had received so much from Our Lady that she would do anything she could do in return. Afterward, her head began to hurt and she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. When questioned about her physical suffering she says, “It may seem to you that I suffer a lot and have problems. I simply say, ‘I have no problems at all.’ Even when I have something wrong, I accept it with such love. I never pay attention to it. I am just overjoyed that God gave me this grace.” She says, “I do not see my illness as some huge suffering but as a mutual giving of gifts. Namely God and Our Lady give me many gifts and I respond from my side as much as I can.” Vicka was gifted with healing prayer, and many people she prays for receive healing of illness. Meanwhile, she has endured painful conditions for many years. Even so, she has gone out to speak to pilgrims and pray for them every day throughout the years, without fear or complaint.
Before Medjugorje, I felt disturbed by the idea of suffering, let alone suffering on behalf of others, which I felt was a very Catholic principle. I found myself in judgment of this idea as backward. However, after my experiences on this trip, it dawned on me. While we are not all necessarily asked to suffer by life or God, our neutrality in response to suffering is a clear statement and living demonstration that we KNOW we are always immersed in well-being, life is always working out for us, and God is for us. It is a knowing that all manifestations, seemingly negative or positive, are opportunities of growth, new perspective, and learning. It is seeing the dream for what it is and knowing the truth of who we are is eternal. This is what Vicka was demonstrating to me.
The humility of giving up our seat, giving up our food when we are hungry, lovingly accepting illness as a service rather than complaining, are all powerful positions of knowing and living the truth of who we are. That kind of strength does not come from social programming that one “should be nice to others.” Rather it comes from great courage and conviction that ‘Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High’ and “Love thy neighbor as thyself” mean that we literally are one in the same. (Psalm 82:6 KJV, Matthew 22:39 KJV).
A Course in Miracles (ACIM) writes: “How just are miracles! For they bestow an equal gift of full deliverance from guilt upon your brother and yourself. Your healing saves him pain as well as you, and you are healed because you wished him well. This is the law the miracle obeys; that healing sees no specialness at all. It does not come from pity but from love. And love would prove all suffering is but a vain imagining, a foolish wish with no effects. Your health is a result of your desire to see your brother with no blood upon his hands or guilt upon his heart made heavy with the proof of sin. And what you wish is given you to see.”
With all the complexity of theory and technique that some spiritual teachings offer, sometimes the simplicity of kindness and humility as a spiritual practice can get lost. On August 2, 2015, Our Lady said, “Do not waste time deliberating too much. You will distance yourselves from the truth. With a simple heart accept His word and live it…The more you love, the further away you will be from death.”
My miracle on this pilgrimage to Medjugorje renewed my memory that Love is the highest form of spiritual practice and is the vibration of existence itself. From ACIM “I seek my own Identity, and find It in these words, “Love, which created me, is what I am” (Lesson 229). “I am sustained by the Love of God.” (Lesson 50).
“Here is the answer to every problem that will confront you, today and tomorrow and throughout time. In this world, you believe you are sustained by everything but God. Your faith is placed in the most trivial and insane symbols; pills, money, ‘protective’ clothing, influence, prestige, being liked, knowing the ‘right’ people, and an endless list of forms of nothingness that you endow with magical powers…All these things are your replacements for the Love of God…Do not put your faith in the worthless. It will not sustain you. Only the Love of God will protect you in all circumstances. It will lift you out of every trial, and raise you high above all the perceived dangers of this world into a climate of perfect peace and safety. It will transport you into a state of mind that nothing can threaten, nothing can disturb, and where nothing can intrude upon the eternal calm of the Son of God” (ACIM, Lesson 50).
“Dear Children! In the great love of God, I come to you today to lead you on the way of humility and meekness. The first station on that way, my children, is confession. Reject your arrogance and kneel down before my Son.” (July 2, 007)