By Acolyte/Student Veronica Cowen
Why is it that as humans we have a tendency to only want to call for God, for help, and for our guides, when things are hard? When things are heavy? When we are sick, challenged, depressed, or lonely. Why don’t we call out when things are smooth? When we are living in financial abundance, or when our family is healthy and our relationships are strong and in harmony? Alas, it is in the latter moments that we get complacent, we get lazy, and we like to pretend we don’t need help. So what happens? A drama, an injury, an accident, a divorce. Something to break us, something to make us call out for God. Something that forces us to reconnect.
I was recently on the phone with the parent of a camper, who was stuck in tremendous fear because she had just found out her daughter had been indoors with someone who wasn’t vaccinated. She said to me, “I am not a person who prays, but I am so afraid for my family that I might start praying now.”
Case and point.
What if instead we raised our commitment in the happy moments. What if we shifted how we connect when things are going great. What if we moved into a space of listening with our highest guidance when life was easy.
Perhaps we think we don’t need help because life is so smooth.
Perhaps we don’t listen or connect to God because we are unconsciously afraid. We are afraid that the fragility of the supposed greatness will break, or we might be guided or asked to do something, change something or say something that might alter what we think is working so well. So we don’t ask, we cover our ears and eyes, we pretend we don’t know and can’t hear.
Until… things get heavy, or hard. Until we get sick. Then we come crawling back to God asking for help, guidance and support.
What if we commit together to be in listening every day. No matter how well, or how terrible we feel. No matter what is going on in the world.
I have a notification set on my phone to go off every morning at 10am: “Go to God so you don’t need drama” It rings. Historically in my life, my relationships have been laden with drama. It is in these dramatic moments that I seek God. Instead, my commitment has become to seek God first. As a result, I witness my relationships transform. I witness my life transform.
But how do we keep that commitment high when the complacency sets in? By setting alarms! By asking friends and loved ones to help us remember. By surrounding ourselves with community and groups who remind us to reconnect. By having altars in our homes and music playing in that evoke in us the commitment we maintain at a CLM retreat; Our spirit’s commitment to God. As I write, I hear Bhagavan Das in the background gently singing songs to the Divine. I smell incense burning in my home and see the flicker of candle light. These are my commitments to remembering. These reminders stimulate my body’s senses and guide me to a place of connection.
Every day I say a prayer, no matter how easy or hard the day feels:
I commit to Listening.
I commit to Surrender.
I commit to Being God’s Love.
I commit to Love.
I commit to Alignment.
I commit to Living God’s Truth.
I commit to Non Conditional Guidance Continuously.
I commit to Openness to Grow.
I commit to anchoring this Here and Now.
I Am.
I commit to God.
I commit to Stillness.
I commit to Unwavering Commitment.
I commit to Allowing God’s Grace to flow through me.
I commit to Knowing.
I commit to saying Yes.
Yes.
Thank You God for making me a tool through which you do your work.
For many years this has been one of my prayers. Not long after my guides gifted me these words, the meaning began to shift for many of the lines. What I had first thought of as a commitment to the noun of love, I soon realized was also a commitment to the verb. I commit to love. I started to notice how much I was holding myself back. How often I kept my heart withdrawn to protect it. But was I really protecting it? My attachment to keeping others at a distance allowed me to stay in a false sense of control so that I could be in charge of my hurt. I could blame no one when “bad things” happened, other than myself. This simple line, “I commit to love.” Had opened a big door for me. I needed to love, not only others, but myself.
Self love is something I have worked on, and worked with, for years. As spiritual seekers, we like to think we dabble in something, and then have it handled, or even mastered. How arrogant. How tender. How human.
I remember years ago laying on the floor at a CLM retreat, and hearing God say, “You really don’t love me do you?”
To which I replied with a little attitude, “What are you talking about, of course I love you!” (Obviously I love God, isn’t a fiery retort the best way to show love??)
God replied, “If you loved me, you would respect and love that body you have. It’s not your body, it’s mine. It’s me.”
That was a slap in the face. What could I say in return? Nothing. God was right, I didn’t love this body. I judged it. I abused it. I pushed it further than it wanted to go. I didn’t respect it.
That was a turning point.
Today, I invite you to be a witness to where and how you create or manifest challenge to be a catalyst supporting your connection to God. How instead you can raise your commitment, to be in that space of listening even more of the time? No matter what is happening around you.
There is always another layer to clear, and a level deeper at which we can experience God’s Presence and Truth. No matter how much knowledge, wisdom, or understanding we have, there is always room to grow.
Even when things are going well.
In closing, I share with you this song that has deeply touched me over the past few months. May it touch your heart as well.
With love,
Veronica